(Spoilers of course.)

It was all over far too soon. With barely a moment to rest or let your guard down to admire the amazing environments and graphical details of the year’s biggest release, the campaign mode of Modern Warfare 2 – whilst inarguably exhilarating from start to finish – wasn’t quite what I was hoping it would be, nor was I as profoundly affected by the controversial airport level as I was building myself up for. The emotional resonance of the original story in the first Modern Warfare, set in current times and grounded (somewhat) in reality, has given way to fantasy in the sequel. By way of comparison, MW2 has pretty much turned into Metal Gear Solid 4.

Not to say it’s not a good game – it is, but only in a purely aesthetic manner. But in very much the same way the original MGS changed the industry as we knew it by introducing blockbuster film productions to gaming before taking a ridiculously confusing turn for the worse as  the plot descended into madness as the series progressed, I fear that, this time round, Infinity Ward “did a Kojima” and opted more for the spectacular rather than the subtle and meaningful surprises; great gameplay masking gaping plot holes.

My gripe is with how inadequately explained it all was.  The airport level was still shocking, yes, but any real meaning or conscientious questioning to be derived from it was overshadowed by the sheer unbelievability of the story, particularly with this vital aspect of it upon which the game’s plot hinged entirely – the process of becoming an undercover agent:

So, an American soldier gets hand-picked by the CIA to infiltrate the Russian ultra-nationalist terrorist group, and presumably he’s learned how to speak Russian fluently (the mission is named No Russian, after all) and been trained in Russian culture so as to make it all the way up close and personal to the world’s most dangerous man, Vladimir Makarov, in the space of, what, a few months? Half a year? It seemed as if the airport stage had been designed beforehand for the shock value with the plot as a mere afterthought, particularly given that the objective of that level was to “earn Makarov’s trust” – which just doesn’t make any consistent sense given that you were already in his posse. Worse still, the rest of the game’s story charges you with finding Makarov and killing him, and yet if you shoot at him during the airport stage you fail the mission (!). To make it even more exorbitant the next stage is set in Brazil. Why? Because shell casings from the bullets used to kill those civilians are tracked to somebody in Rio; in other words, how can we find a link between a massacre in Moscow and a cool looking place to put in the game for action purposes which we haven’t used before, like somewhere in South America? A flimsy plot device, that’s how!

So by the beginning of Act II, I had simply turned my brain off. Arguably it shouldn’t have been on in the first place for Modern Warfare 2, perhaps, but why have mature and controversial content in the first place if the rest of the story plays out like James Bond directed by Michael Bay? By the end of the game, with twists and turns and, sadly, the odd predictable moment or two of corniness, the brain was well and truly comatose. Having said that though, I did enjoy it greatly in the same way I would a cheesy action movie from the early to mid 90’s: playing through the gulag level not only reminds you of The Rock but also contained a somewhat appropriate self-referential Hollywood-style payoff with the Sean Connery character turning out to be Captain Price. And that’s simultaneously the problem I have with MW2 and the thing I miss from MW1: the original had the tragedy as well as the commentary on war – particularly with the nuclear explosion seen from your perspective. MW2 tried to capture that same level of “thought” but is let down by going for the overly  spectacular extreme. It definitely still succeeds as a pure action game and a guilty pleasure – I would have just preferred something deeper as hinted at with MW1 and the Cain & Abel voiceover from the MW2 trailer.

Overall MW2 deserves its praise for extremely high production values, marvellous technical and visual achievements, great pacing and action setpieces. In particular I greatly enjoyed the focus on the connection with that great cast of supporting characters – particularly with Captain Price taking on the role of his former mentor Captain MacMillan from the first game, as well as seeing Soap MacTavish from the third person perspective for much of the game before finally “being him” at the end –  again quite reminiscent of techniques used in the Metal Gear series. Shame about the story and the poor use of the airport level, though, because I think Infinity Ward missed a really good opportunity here to do something in the name of videogames. Something special. Maybe I was just hoping for a bit too much. So while I contemplate the future of COD, no doubt still playing through the campaign again a few more times, my mind falling asleep amidst the explosive excitement and developing an ever-increasing addiction to the even less meaningful but totally spectacular multiplayer, I will still grasp onto that hopeful notion that games can truly promote an important message through its medium. But oh what might have been…

The video game battle has raged on for over 20 years with more and more casualties announced each generation. This time round, who will win the fight?

360 Man

In his former incarnation as just plain old ‘XBox Man’, 360 Man took his time and used his big weapon: connection infrastructures, to plan the perfect moment to enter the console wars. With Master Chief at his side and guns blazing, 360 Man is the current kingpin of all the heroes.

Strengths:

Truly KILLER Apps (including a substantial advantage over PS3 Mecca with his recruitment of third parties), and with the devastating power of the MS network he can summon his many followers (in a non-cultish way of course).

Weaknesses:

Overheating (whereupon he is vulnerable to attack and online mauling) where the power ring on his chest slowly turns red and his followers may begin a mutiny and move to the other side. He also charges a fee when people ask for his services, rent-a-hero style, causing them to often resent 360 Man despite all his values.

PS3 Mecca

The third in line of his kin, PS3 Mecca learnt from one of the legends himself: Master PS2, but this time round the Sony hero faces a much tougher fight…

Strengths:

Within his chassis PS3 Mecca has an incredibly powerful source of potential, and at this point he is trying hard to maximise it through regular tutelage with the Master PS2, a harsh but all-knowing teacher (like Pai Mei in Kill Bill). Possesses a lethal bluray laser but still in training to wield it properly (like Luke Skywalker and Yoda). His killer aps are, again, still in development and a lot will ride on the aging shoulders of Solid Snake.

Weaknesses:

Often mocked and insulted by the people, PS3 Mecca has taken a real beating from his rivals as he struggles in the current gen battle. Being initially too costly for the public to enlist his services and a bit too boastful about his own abilities before a blow had even been landed, he has already lost favour with many of Master PS2’s allies from the last gen wars.

Wii Lady

The (Wii) Fittist of all our heroes, Wii Lady stands up for the rights of all the young ones, families, and the Nintendo fans still reeling after crushing past defeats to the older generation heroes the Gamecube Cube and the N64 Colossus. Speaks with a Scottish accent (“wee lady”, get it?)

Strengths:

Strong physical attacks (including nunchuk melee weapon), virtually unbeatable from a first person perspective, can summon the powers of fallen heroes from the All Conquering NES armoury, and completely rules the sewer (or “underground” as it sounds much cooler) with her right-hand man Mario.

Weaknesses:

Are Mario and a proven ability to be the life of friend/family parties enough to sustain Wii Lady’s longevity? This may not even be an issue though with her popularity with, well, pretty much everyone in the world (provided that friendship codes have already been established).

PSP Chick

Basically the Master PS2 in reincarnated female form and offering a host of media options, PSP Chick is definitely the funkiest little hero around. But is being cool enough?

Strengths:

Able to connect to her bigger brother the PS3 Mecca, PSP Chick has proven herself to be a reliable handheld device as she insists that she is an altogether different hero to the DS Boy. Possessing greater vision than her main rival, she also has the ability to throws her UMD discs at unsuspecting enemies as they gasp “what the HELL is that?!”

Weaknesses:

Some may say she is fighting an unfair fight against DS Boy, but she is still a worthy adversary in her own right despite being busted for graffiti and fake website scams.

DS Boy

The Robin to the Wii Lady’s Batman (or Batwoman), the youthful DS Boy stands his own ground and is a force to be reckoned with via his sheer playability and, well, just being a fun guy to call upon. Extremely popular worldwide, particularly in Japan – they just can’t get enough.

Strengths:

His unique abilities allow him to throw rocks with a simple swing of his stylus bat, cut into enemies with surgical precision, improve IQ scores, and object to injustices by utilising his built-in microphone. DS Boy can also link up with Wii Lady like Voltron – Wii Lady as the head and the pink, blue, black and gold versions of DS Boy completing the limbs. As to where the torso comes from, it’s the same deal with Optimus Prime’s trailer thing that always appeared/disappeared whenever it felt like it.

Weaknesses:

Tends to focus a bit too much on the ‘touching’ side of things as opposed to the traditional methods of crime fighting, as well as being guilty of only hanging out with his own friends rather than embracing the world.

Shortly after it was originally posted on my old 1up page, this blog actually got “Dugg”, i.e. it was quickly linked and re-linked over the web to within an inch of its life. Just check out how nasty the internet is! 

PS3

She seemed nice at first: a very good looker with several “exclusive” features. But after a little while she’s just turned into a real high-maintenance cash-grabbing bitch who you desperately want to leave, but whom you strangely feel compelled to stay with just to see how it all turns out. She’s now inviting you to move into her Home, which could lead to a beautiful relationship…but you still have your reservations. She IS still really hot even after you first laid eyes on her in 1995, but a gold digger nonetheless.

Her real life equivalent: Catherine Zeta Jones

Xbox 360

The rich girl who has won over many because she is actually quite nice and not as materialistic as we originally thought she was. She’s almost as hot as (or hotter than) the PS3 and doesn’t whine as much, but over the long term will she still be quite as attractive? Overall, still a classy and reliable choice and one that’ll get you the thumbs up from mates.

Her real life equivalent: Nicole Kidman

Wii

Her previous incarnation was really hot in the 90s, but she kinda lost popularity over the turn of the millennium. However now, she’s had a complete makeover and is back in the spotlight again with features that appeal to pretty much everyone. But then again she was idolised ever since the 80s and has a massive hardcore following to this day. She is fun in a harmless and innocent kind of way, but if you’re the type that prefers paintball skirmishes over playing twister you are going to be disappointed.

Her real life equivalent: Drew Barrymore

Sega Saturn

My personal all-time favourite although a lot of people wouldn’t feel the same. Still, I thought she was a real cutey and definitely appealed to the old-school gamer and 80s cult movie buffs. Went out of fashion far quicker than she should have and never fulfilled her true potential. It’s worth digging up her number in the old phone book for a bit of nostalgic catch-up time though.

Her real life equivalent: Phoebe Cates