Inspired by Pep

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A trigger takes me back

to a precious moment I’ve kept dear

The mere thought of which elicits a tearful sadness

alongside a warm sense of comfort and safety

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Revisiting a golden time and place from long ago

with a fresh wonder and joy for a world so new

That innocence and purity of my exposure to life has since been lost and replaced

by knowledge and language too descriptive, and needlessly complicated

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I feel the pangs of mourning for a homesickness of my youth

accepting that it is impossible to appreciate the richness of existence again through such a cherished, simple perspective

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What is that

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It hits me only now that this image I’ve had of my mother, all this time

Has long been affectionately biased by the rosy tint of these youthful eyes

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I am now at an age, corresponding closely to that time when she had me

Faced with a similar prospect of our lives changing ever irreversibly

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I’ve known her only as my mum, an enriching role model for an only son

It makes me wonder how she was as a young woman and how we would have gotten on

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Adulthood is thrust upon us so soon, often catching us unawares:

Not fully ready to undergo that morph into a generation of greying hair

~… Read More

It petrifies me to think that we’ll end up like that, someday

Where all the things that needed to be said, have all been said away

With only our presence together to confirm for us our youth

All withered away, a love too long now in the tooth

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I’ve seen them many times, scattered around this world as witnessed through these eyes

Couples who have since merged their freedoms into the one single, common life

It’s often made me wonder whether this step is an inevitable conclusion

To the days of long ago of an inescapable flirtatious delusion… Read More

It’s the fear of seeing my old self

Complete with old ways, thoughts and habits

Taking over my consciousness and current existence of being

Causing me to resort, too easily, to a familiar self-destruction

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This demon sees straight through my soul

Picking out casually like grapes my deepest and darkest fears

Exposing my weaknesses to me, displaying them with pride

Showing me the quickest and easiest solutions to all that I deny

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I no longer see myself through my own eyes

But rather through those old ones back from some youthful place

The choices I have are those available to that lost and frightened child

An offered hand of love concealing an irreparably damaging knife… Read More