Originally posted here

~

[I will probably get in trouble if certain people read this blog. But here it is anyway]

A bit of context, just to get it out of the way early on: I tend to take my gaming addictions a bit far sometimes, and I absolutely love open world games. GTA III had me hooked like a junkie as I enjoyed the exploration and sightseeing within Liberty City; taking my time doing missions in order to fully appreciate it all, the wonderful digital city: soaking it in, the geography, the design, the personality. These virtual escapes then followed with Vice City, San Andreas, and of course, GTA IV. Oh the time and sick days spent on that one.

None of that intense training could prepare me for Fallout 3, however. Nope. Bethesda have well and truly destroyed me.

Doing all-nighters. Taking days off work. Cancelling dinners and movie outings. I really did all these things. I just needed a few more hours to scour the world for those 30 Nuka-Cola Quantums, finding that leaf blower to make my custom weapon, to get some ant pheromones for the chick in Rivet City, to grab all the loot from vanquished Talon Company Mercs and to repair and compress my inventory space, to travel through subway tunnels in DC looking for those Super Mutant behemoths…on and on it went. And with a game as vast and as open as this one, there’s never a shortage of things to do – there just aren’t enough hours in a day to be able to do them all.

Upon reaching the maximum of Level 20 (a bit of a disappointment to be honest, albeit a life-saving one) it dawned on me. It was as if my body had been detached from my mind; the former reduced to conduit slave status whose sole purpose was to punch buttons and serve the latter which was, and had been for a while, floating in its own virtual space within the DC Ruins of the game. It was 5 am. I had played all night. Then, a voice. My voice. I was glad to hear it.

“Man, you’re not taking very good care of yourself. If there was no maximum level, you’d be just like one of those World of Warcraft freaks who plays all day every day within those game cafes eating instant noodles, the only difference being that you’re too tight to pay the monthly subscription fee which is probably in itself fair enough given that I don’t agree with regular payments for MMOs either (despite the fact that I AM your mind and it’d be contradictory for me NOT to agree, but lets not go there). Look at what GTA IV did to you. You lined up unnecessarily for the midnight launch just to play in the early hours of the morning, having to drag yourself off to work with little to no sleep even though the game was hardly in short supply and you could have easily picked it up the next afternoon. And, going back further, look at what San Andreas did during your uni years: skipping class to stay home and deck yourself out with green bandanas and ammo for your AK47 as you took over gang territory in the name of the Grove Street Families. Ah, memories”.

Then my alarm rang and the voice of reason was gone. 7:40 am. Another choice presented itself to me, and even though I was (kind of) back in real life, I could still see the dialogue window from the game, complete with response options:

“Your alarm has gone off, alerting you to the fact that you need to get dressed and go to work. However your eyes are bloodshot and their lids extremely heavy given that you’ve played the game non-stop, overnight, with only a carton of orange juice as sustenance. You decide to…”:

• Abide by the laws of society and get dressed and go to work, trying not to collapse, dead, on public transport along the way
• Take a nap for a few hours, then go to work. After all, being late is better than not being there at all!
• [SPEECH 100%] Take a sicky

Option 3. Success!

Once the decision was made though, away went any remnants of my fatigue, seemingly magically and almost immediately. So guess what I did? Yep. I salvaged ammo from the dead Super Mutants, went back to where I told Dogmeat to stay, and fast-travelled around to look for more locations to fill up the empty spaces of my map, inevitably finding yet more new places and distractions to keep occupied. Fallout 3 isn’t without its flaws; the character animations are often stiff, there are clipping issues and a ton of glitches and bugs, the AI of NPCs is often questionable at best, and given the combination of the game’s scope plus an unreliable Local Map, it is incredibly easy to get lost within internal environments – particularly the other Vaults. But everything else about the game? Bloody hell. Fallout 3 is one of the best games I have ever played, and is definitely my favourite game of 2008 even amongst such distinguished company this year. The world, the characters, the story, the dark humour: you could say that I’ve been ‘immersed’ in it.

So today, amazingly, I’m back at work and typing all this down. I know! Crazy isn’t it! I’ve seen the sun, and it is beautiful. Let’s see then, doo do doo do doo, what will my options be for tonight? Take a wild guess.

I’ve heard all the advice before, too. “Just go to sleep, moron. It’s not hard”. “Be more mature about it and control yourself, you overgrown child,” etc etc. But I’m telling you, completely honestly, the open world video game is my vice, my Kryptonite. It gets me EVERY time. I am an addict, and I admit it with much shame and self-loathing. Maybe it’s to do with wanting to escape from one’s own reality, finding salvation in a world that follows different rules with alternate social underpinnings. There must be something deep down inside, a hidden reason behind this type of addiction; something Freudian perhaps. One thing is for sure though after this whole saga: even if I do absolutely love savouring these digital worlds and all the little details they offer, taking my time to free-roam to my heart’s content (if not the rest of the body), I really cannot wait until Fallout 3 is truly over and I’ve seen all that there is to see – if only just to escape my own personal Vault 101.

But then there’s the option of playing through again as someone evil. Jesus. Christ.

Originally posted here

~

Here is a quick timeline of the gaming life of a former Sega “fanboy”. In writing this I discovered quite a bit about my own hypocrisies and double-standards…coming to the conclusion that we should all give up hating this console or that console, this company or that company, Sonic or Mario etc etc. They all have their value, so we should just enjoy it while we can. Respect each other’s bloody decisions!

Born December 1982

Premature by 3 months, apparently offset by my mum walking past a Space Invaders arcade machine and having an urge to play.

~

Age 2 Learning to walk (handy for future trips to EB games) and grasp items, making full use of all digits and the all-important imposable thumb: hence receiving early training for future analogue sticks and shoulder buttons.

~

Age 3 Development of spacial, logic, and talking skills which will eventually be tested by Game Boy Tetris, Facebook Poker and Yahoo Chat.

~

Primary School

~

Age 6 Mum bought me my first console: the Sega Master System II. Hence the commencement of my Master Gamer Fourth Dan daily lessons and practice where only intense discipline and self-control could help me beat Enduro Racer, until I discovered the cheat code.

~

Age 9 Learnt about self-consciousness and wanted to have Sonic’s spiky hair and red sneakers. Had to settle instead for mummy-parted bowlcut and Reebok Pumps, which at least helped me jump really high of course.

~

Age 10 Game Boy craze hits school, with annoying kids shouting in my ear about where to place the blocks as I stare fixatedly at the wonderful muddy yellow and black screen. Learnt a valuable life lesson here about the virtues of solo gaming.

~

Age 11 Hatred of Nintendo is firmly developed through Sega’s slogan propaganda and the coolness of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker. Who wants to play rubbish like Super Metroid when I’ve got 16 bit ‘Smooth Criminal’ as background music? Eh?

~

High School

~

Age 14 My first computer, a Pentium 133 which is SO good for learning stuff with Encarta 95, getting angry at Word, and playing Sim City 2000 – the beginning of PC game addiction. Windows 3.11 is HOT. For some reason it keeps crashing on me for no good reason and I have to get it repaired (at least) 3 times. Crucial training for the world we now live in: to think school assignments were handwritten or even worse, typewritten(!) before this – crazy.

~

Age 15 Learnt about the valour and integrity in taking sides in the early console wars: Sega Saturn vs Sony Gaystation. Developed thick skin and the ability to tell convincing stories about Sega’s prowess and world domination. Gameplay over graphics! And anyone who doesn’t agree isn’t a hardcore gamer: get out!

~

Age 16 Felt loss, sadness, and turmoil through the defeat of the Saturn. Nintendo-hate intensifies because of the Nintendo 64 (Mario 64 “isn’t even that great”). Confusion arises because I really liked Metal Gear Solid, an exclusive game on THE ENEMY.

~

Age 17 Feelings of redemption through the promise of the Dreamcast. Anti-Sony emotions intensify as the PS2 hijacks it a year later with a far more powerful system. How dare they! First kiss with a girl named Grace. Hard to afford games on a McDonald’s wage. Addicted to Champ Manager as I guide Arsenal to European Cup glory. Learnt to drive thanks to years of Daytona USA and Sega Rally at the arcades.

~

Uni

~

Age 20 Forced to swallow one’s pride through the intense and amazing gameplay experience of GTAIII on the PS2. I end up buying it as fierce memories of Sega’s demise start to slowly fade. Entered an experimental phase in life by trying out all sorts of new stuff, like cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, LAN gaming and Counterstrike. Learnt new jargon: ‘camper’, as well as the humiliation of being noob-knifed.

~

Age 21 Becoming a local master in Pro Evolution Soccer. What the hell is Microsoft doing? The XBox is CRAP!!! Stay away! Stick with computers Bill Gates you nerd!

~

Age 22 World comes crumbling down as I am beaten (comprehensively) for the first time ever by a mate’s Korean cousin who is a Pro Evo BEAST. Had to ask myself serious personal questions: Who am I? Where do I want to be in life? Do I choose a life of living my passion at the cost of financial security, or do I get a 9 to 5 job and climb the career ladder and sacrifice the things I love? Is there a balance? Started playing guitar: nothing at all like Guitar Hero.

~

Adult Life

~

Age 24 Working full time (ahem, 9 to 5) but feeling born again through the wonderful DS and Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection. Lost countless battles of Pokemon to kids 10 years younger than I am. Soon to be a 360 owner through the beauty of BioShock and the sheer potential in playing Pro Evo on XBox Live – and climbing the career (360 achievements) ladder to be NUMBER ONE. If I keep training my brain every day with the DS, it’s only a matter of time.