Will Ooi » Other

Prank Caller Paranoia

Will Ooi — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 07:12:23 +0000

As unfamiliar digits flash up on the tiny LED screen of my desktop handset at work on Thursday morning, I answer the phone formally with my job title and first name, expecting a call from yet another backpacker with a European accent asking how to participate in (or rather, recklessly donate their bodies to) clinical trials, for as uninformed and mistaken as they are, we’ve been getting a lot of those calls lately. With our stock standard generic reply ready in my mind, I am taken slightly aback by a different query altogether unrelated to our work from a young lady with a faint yet still-identifiable, shaky and nervous tone. She asks if ‘Lucy’, my mother’s name, is there, to which I reply “no”. I clarify her target by offering the full name, “Lucy Bee?”, to which she agrees. This being the first time anyone has ever called my work number asking for my mother, I ask this mysterious lady why she is after my mother and what the call is in relation to, to which she meekly replies “Solar panels…but that’s okay, I’ll check with reception”, before hurriedly hanging up the phone abruptly, leaving me with grand suspicions. “Reception?” I think to myself. “Solar panels??” Likely story.

Memories of VHS

Will Ooi — Tue, 11 May 2010 03:06:30 +0000

~ With modern eyes we now see them as ugly, primitive-looking things affiliated with old plastic cassette tapes and perhaps somewhat related to those equally-redundant computer floppy discs. How quickly technology has progressed from the days when having variable fast-forward and rewind speeds (fast, double fast, Triple Fast!) on VCRs warranted praise and worship, and how stubborn I was when DVDs first came out, adamantly insisting that I would never (ever) convert, clinging desperately onto my collection of VHS movies with their inconsistently-sized and ripped cardboard covers and maintaining passionately that being able to record from TV was a basic human right. And indeed, by not making recording a standard feature on DVD players haven't we all turned into JB Hi-Fi bargain pile-raiding uber-consumers, needing to own entire series of shows and collector's editions of movies when we could have easily taped them for free? Well anyway, before I allow the nostalgia to forever be replaced by the progress of DVD and Blu-Ray user-friendliness, here are several of my fondest childhood and adolescent memories of VHS.

Caption Contest: The Joker

Will Ooi — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:03:14 +0000

The winner will receive a Will Ooi-autographed copy of a picture of Jack Nicholson holding a picture of Heath Ledger, being asked for an autograph

How to Alienate Your Fans and Come Across as an Arrogant Bastard: Empire of the Sun @ Foreshore ’09 Review

Will Ooi — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:08:31 +0000

Garry, like many of us, was ultra-keen to see Empire of the Sun, vocally expressive in his enthusiasm the moment we all met up with him in the morning on the day of Foreshore, Canberra’s annual music festival situated next to Parliament, holding onto this positive anticipation all the way through the day and excitedly [...]

House Review: Steve’s Place

Will Ooi — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:00:00 +0000

I wake up early on a Sunday morning, lying on an all-enveloping yellow couch of grand comfort and am greeted by a family silhouette of bottles of Coopers Pale Ale positioned directly in front of a bright white window, wondering where I am. A surge of initial trepidation runs through me as I furiously try [...]

Review: Greedy Power Adaptors

Will Ooi — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:00:00 +0000

I wish to charge up my Nintendo DS. It isn’t asking much. And I have only one space left on the port. I wish to fit the power adaptor into that remaining space: the one untouched. But because of the shape of it, I cannot. There is conflict. Could you not be [...]

DVD Cover Review: Punches They Didn’t See Coming

Will Ooi — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:00:00 +0000

They say you should never judge a book by its cover; but what about those particularly obscure macho sporting DVDs usually found in the ‘Specialist’ section of a DVD store right next to the awkward softcore pornography section (rather ingenius target demographic product placement if I do say so myself) or deep down within the [...]

Paranoia via Facebook Private Message

Will Ooi — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:00:00 +0000

A spiritual sequel to a previous blog: Paranoia in Bullet Point Form. Disclaimer: Once again, all of this really happened and names, nationalities, suburbs and countries have been changed to protect the innocent. So you have a really close cousin who lives in England. Now because your extended family is all split up and living [...]

Real Life Zombie Apocalypse Contingency Plans: The First 24 Hours

Will Ooi — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 13:00:00 +0000

It is yet another miscellaneous, mundane, midweek work day. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer monitor, you find out via Google news that the Zombie Apocalypse has actually, finally, arrived. Initial panic sets in as the realisation hits that the world, as you know it, will never be the same again. [...]

Paranoia In Bullet Point Form

Will Ooi — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Disclaimer: All of this really happened. Names, nationalities and suburbs have been changed to protect the innocent. • So there’s a girl you like from Language Class. An Italian girl. • You’ve met a couple of times, and even attended the same Language Class group dinner a few weeks ago. Since then there have [...]