It’s the fear of seeing my old self

Complete with old ways, thoughts and habits

Taking over my consciousness and current existence of being

Causing me to resort, too easily, to a familiar self-destruction

~

This demon sees straight through my soul

Picking out casually like grapes my deepest and darkest fears

Exposing my weaknesses to me, displaying them with pride

Showing me the quickest and easiest solutions to all that I deny

~

I no longer see myself through my own eyes

But rather through those old ones back from some youthful place

The choices I have are those available to that lost and frightened child

An offered hand of love concealing an irreparably damaging knife

~

But I stare back at him today, reigning myself back in

I am not helpless nor prone, and he cannot frighten me

For I have changed since those days when he came to visit me those times

For I am older now, and have learnt of my own braveness to fight

~

Who I was then will not now dictate who I am now

Even if this old version of me insists he will still hang around:

He will serve usefully as a reminder of all I have lost

As well as all the wonderful things that I have since then found