It’s the Arnie movie that had everything: over the top violence, hilarious one-liners, outrageous ‘boss’ characters, Jesse Ventura, a Latino chick, satire on society and television, Yaphet Kotto of Alien fame, a distinct future influence on video games, and Schwarzenegger in possibly his finest form. It’s The Running Man (cue dodgy 80s echo sound effects)!!!

Set in an Orwellian 2017 where free speech is illegal, the story begins with futuristic policeman Ben Richards (Arnie) being set up by the totalitarian government for the massacre of civilians and sent to jail (where he sports a cool-looking beard). He escapes of course, but not without someone having his head blown off first (thanks to futuristic head-exploding collars which, to be honest, really had nothing at all to do with the story apart from the gore factor), but is soon caught and forced to take part in the biggest game show around: The Running Man. Hosted by a bloke named Killian (played by a real TV show host at the time), convicts are sent into the game zone via a funky aerodynamic cart down a high-speed tube dressed in Matt Shirvington-style crotch-accentuating tights where they are relentlessly hunted by a ridiculous team of ‘stalkers’ as society watches on in awe. None of this would mean anything though if there wasn’t an introductory choreographed group dance by lycra-clad ladies with permed hair. Gripped to the max and brainwashed, the show is a hit…but not for a group of rebels who are intent on a revolution and bringing an end to the propaganda.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Yaphet Kotto: about as 80′s a partnership as you can get

The Stalkers, how Arnie kills them, and the post-death one-liners

(I mean, what better time to crack a joke than when you’ve just vanquished your enemy?)

Subzero:

A huge Japanese Ice Hockey player with a razor sharp stick and explosive pucks. Strangled to death by barbed wire. “Here’s Subzero…now…plain zero!” (possibly the best movie line of all time)

Buzzsaw:

A Redneck bikie with a chainsaw. Enough said really. Sawn in half with his own weapon from the crotch up. “He had to split!”

Dynamo:

An opera singing electricity-shooting fat guy in a costume decorated with lights. Not killed by Arnie actually, but by a water sprinkler. Hence no witty line unfortunately.

Fireball:

Played by former NFL star Jim Brown, Fireball wields a flamethrower and flies around in a jetpack. Not over the top at all, no way. He is blown up with a dynamite stick when Arnie unplugs his gas cable. Bonus double pre and post-kill lines: “Need a light?” and “What a hothead!”

Captain Freedom:

Played by the big Austrian’s Predator and future political buddy Jesse Ventura, it is a slight disappointment that they don’t get to fight each other. Well not really: the final battle in a spiked cage is ‘digitized’ (you’ll understand when you watch it), and WHAT a crazily violent fake battle scene it is! Sadly, again, no Arnie kill and no line.

Impact and influence

In terms of 80s action, Schwarzenegger’s other hits Predator, Terminator, and Commando tend to steal the limelight: I must admit that even I had forgotten about this gem until a fellow movie freak friend of mine reminded me of it, and I’d go as far as saying The Running Man is right up there with Arnie’s best. Citizen Kane it is most definitely not, but hey masterpiece theatre wasn’t the reason why we loved him so much. This film is also, once you strip away the superficial layer of 80′s cheese and typical Arnie trademarks, a very clever take on the impact of reality game shows, which is not entirely surprising given the fact that it was based on a novel by Stephen King under the alias of ‘Richard Bachman’. Although it differed greatly from the book (I think it’d be safe to say that there was no “plain zero” line in there) the themes present make it well ahead of its time – despite how utterly 80′s the future was presented in the movie: the final scene where Richards kisses the girl and the unmistakable sound of synthesizer rock swelling in the background is pretty, surely deliberately, cringe-worthy.

The film’s influence on gaming should also not be discounted either, with the icy character of Subzero and the spiked battle zone being clear influences on Mortal Kombat. A game was released on the early Commodore 64-era consoles which were, suffice it to say, rubbish, and Smash TV on Genesis and the SNES were quite similar in plot and ideas (which led to that minigame in GTA Liberty City Stories). I want a game remake!! On that note I wouldn’t be surprised either if one of these days a film remake gets the go-ahead, although it will of course be nowhere near the insane value of the original and will probably star Ralph Fiennes in yet another role where he has a serious crying scene.

Overall, a truly spectacular example of what 80′s action was all about, filled with gruesomely graphic violence and a bit of Che Guevara thrown in for good measure. Plus given the reality TV overload seen today, the words of Damon Killian have never been truer: “This is television, that’s all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it’s to do with ratings! For fifty years, we’ve told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear… Americans love television! They wean their kids on it. Listen. They love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports and violence. So what do we do? We give ‘em what they want! We’re number one, Ben, that’s all that counts, believe me.” *

*Cue the final kill as Richards sends Killian down the speed tunnel to an explosive death which doesn’t make any sense at all. “Well that hit the spot!”